Over 3300+ Petty Captions for Instagram (2024) Own the Shade

Welcome to the world of snark, wit, and undeniable attitude! In today's blog post, we are diving headfirst into the realm of petty captions for Instagram. Social media has given us a platform to express ourselves in ways that were once unimaginable, and one of the most entertaining ways to make a statement is with a petty caption. It's time to embrace your inner sass and level up your Instagram game with our collection of the best and most mischievous captions out there.

We have curated an extensive list of petty Instagram captions to help you showcase your unapologetic self while also adding that extra bit of spice to your posts. Whether you're looking to throw some subtle shade or just let your feisty personality shine through, this blog post has got you covered. So, sit back, relax, and let your creativity flow as we explore the top captions that are sure to make your followers double-tap in amusement.

Also Useful: Baddie Captions For Instagram (2024)

Petty Instagram Captions For Haters (2024)

Let's face it, haters can be annoying, but they can also make for some great Instagram captions. Show them they don't bother you with these petty captions that are sure to make them think twice. Here are perfect petty Instagram captions for haters that will make your next post a hit.

• "I'm sorry, did my success offend you?"
• "You talk a lot about me, must be because I'm interesting."
• "Honey, I'm the whole package – you can't compete."
• "I'm too busy loving my life to worry about your opinions."
• "My life is a movie, and you're just an extra."
• "Keep rolling your eyes, you might find a brain back there."
• "I don't chase people, I chase dreams."
• "I'm not responsible for your low self-esteem."
• "Sorry, not sorry for being fabulous."
• "It's a beautiful day to leave me alone."
• "Too blessed to be stressed by your negativity."
• "You're the reason I have middle fingers."
• "My confidence is designer, can't find it in your knock-off store."
• "Keep talking, I'm taking notes on how not to be like you."
• "You can't make me feel bad because you don't like me."
• "I'm too busy being awesome to care about your opinion."
• "I can't hear you over the sound of my success."
• "I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm someone's a double shot of tequila."
• "Jealousy is a disease, get well soon."
• "Your opinion of me doesn't pay my bills."
• "Confidence level: selfie with no filter."
• "I'm a diamond, you can't break me."
• "People will stare, make it worth their while."
• "The only thing more beautiful than my smile is the jealousy it causes."
• "Your approval is not needed."
• "If you don't like me, take a map, get a car, and go to the nearest cliff."
• "I'd tell you to take a hike, but I don't want you to enjoy nature."
• "Your negativity is just a speed bump on my road to success."
• "I'm not a snack, I'm the whole damn meal!"
• "I'm not rude, I'm honest."
• "I'm a limited edition, not everyone can handle me."
• "My life, my rules, my attitude."
• "Keep calm and ignore the haters."
• "Your hate makes me unstoppable."
• "Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of me living my best life."
• "My haters are my motivators."
• "I'm not heartless, I just learned how to use my heart less."
• "You don't like me? That's a shame, I'll pencil in some time to cry about it later."
• "I'm not playing hard to get, I'm playing "leave me alone.""
• "I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman, I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in a room together."
• "You can't handle me even if I came with instructions."
• "Not everyone likes me, but not everyone matters."
• "They say good things take time, that's why I'm always late."
• "I'm the queen of my own little world."
• "If you have a problem with me, write it on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it where the sun doesn't shine."
• "Throw me to the wolves and I'll come back leading the pack."
• "My circle is small because I'm into quality, not quantity."
• "I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands."
• "Darling, you can't break a woman who is already broken."

Also Related: Instagram Captions For Haters (2024)

Petty Valentine's Day Captions For Instagram (2024)

Looking for some sassy and petty captions to spice up your Valentine's Day Instagram posts? We've got you covered. Here's a list of notable and cheeky captions that'll show off your single-and-not-ready-to-mingle attitude.

• Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm single, and I'm cool with that too.
• Cupid called, he wants his arrow back.
• Valentine's Day? More like Valentine's Slay.
• My Valentine's date: me, myself, and I.
• No bae, no problem.
• Dear Cupid, just send chocolate this time.
• Love stinks, but this wine tastes great.
• Just me and my bed, happily ever after.
• Who needs a date when you have Netflix?
• Single and living my best life.
• Sorry, Cupid, I'm immune to your love arrows.
• I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.
• Love is in the air, but so is the flu.
• On Valentine's Day, I'm all about self-love.
• Thanks, but no thanks, Cupid.
• I don't need a Valentine, I need a vacation.
• My one true love: pizza.
• Cupid, we need to have a talk.
• Valentine's Day? Nah, I prefer Taco Tuesday.
• The Roses are red, I'm going to bed.
• My favorite love story: is when I fell in love with myself.
• Keep your roses, I'll take the wine.
• The only love triangle I'm interested in is a slice of pizza.
• Shoutout to my ex for making me an expert in self-love.
• Just a girl and her dog, celebrating Valentine's Day.
• Cupid, kindly skip my house this year.
• Love potion? More like a glass of wine.
• I'm single by choice. Just not my choice.
• My Valentine is the snooze button.
• I'm my own #relationshipgoals.
• Not feeling the love, Cupid.
• Single, but at least I'm drama-free.
• Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather spend Valentine's Day without you.
• Cupid's not the boss of me.
• When you're your own damn, Valentine.
• Valentine's Day: the perfect excuse to treat me.
• My heart belongs to my dog.
• The best love story is the one you have with yourself.
• Thanks for nothing, Cupid.
• No plus one, and I'm still having fun.
• Relationship status: in love with my freedom.
• Can't break my heart if I don't have one.
• Valentine's Day is better with a side of sarcasm.
• Cupid, your aim could use some work.
• My only Valentine is my dog, and I'm okay with that.
• It's not me, it's you, Cupid.
• Single and ready to mingle… with my cat.
• Cupid, I'm breaking up with you.
• My love life is like a romantic comedy, minus romance.
• Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be single, how about you?
• Relationship status: committed to my cat.
• Love is in the air, but I've got my gas mask on.

Also Check: Valentine's Day Captions For Instagram (2024)

Petty Halloween Captions For Instagram (2024)

Get ready to slay this Halloween with these petty captions that are perfect for your spooky Instagram posts. Whether you're dressing up or just feeling the Halloween vibes, these captions will add a touch of sass and humor to your photos.

• "Creep it real, witches."
• "Too cute to spook, too petty to care."
• "Feeling fang-tastic this Halloween."
• "I'm just here for the boos."
• "I put the 'elusive' in 'ghoulish.'"
• "Witch better have my candy."
• "I'm no basic witch."
• "You say witch like it's a bad thing."
• "Resting witch face."
• "Happy Halloween from your favorite haunt mess."
• "If the broom fits, fly it."
• "Just a bunch of hocus pocus."
• "Keep calm and carry a wand."
• "Squad ghouls."
• "I'm here for the candy and the drama."
• "It's just a bunch of hocus pocus... and pettiness."
• "Ghouls just wanna have fun."
• "You're just jealous because I'm a witch and you're not."
• "Trick or treat yo' self."
• "I've got 99 problems, but a witch ain't one."
• "I can't be held responsible for stolen candy."
• "Hocus pocus and chill?"
• "You are the pumpkin spice to my fall."
• "If you've got it, haunt it."
• "Boo, Felicia."
• "I put a spell on you, and now you're mine."
• "I'm the queen of Halloween."
• "Ghostest with the mostest."
• "Sorry, I can't hear you over my monster mash."
• "This witch likes her brew cold and her revenge served hot."
• "Don't be a basic witch."
• "I'm 99% angel, but oh, that 1%..."
• "I'm just here to creep it real."
• "Halloween is for the ghouls."
• "Trick or petty."
• "Boo, witch."
• "Halloween: the one day a year I can be as petty as I want."
• "Spooky, scary, and a little bit petty."
• "I'm the ghost with the most, babe."
• "There's a little witch in all of us."
• "I'm not a regular witch, I'm a cool witch."
• "You can't spell 'Halloween' without 'petty.'"
• "Feeling a bit witchy today."
• "The only thing scarier than my costume is my attitude."
• "Too petty for this haunted house."

Check More: Halloween Captions For Instagram (2024)

Petty New Years Captions For Instagram (2024)

New Year's Eve is all about having fun and celebrating the end of one year and the beginning of another. So why not get a little cheeky with your Instagram captions? Here are petty New Year's captions that will have your followers laughing and double-tapping in no time!

• New Year, same me, because I'm already fabulous.
• Cheers to the people who love us and the losers who lost us in 2024.
• I can't believe I made it through 2024 without becoming a meme.
• 2024, please don't disappoint like last year.
• New Year's resolution: be prettier.
• Just here for the champagne and sparklers.
• I'm only partying tonight to help lower the bar for everyone else's resolutions.
• 2024 was like a game of Jenga, and I only lost a few pieces.
• Page 1 of 365: Let the petty games begin.
• Can't wait to see what drama 2024 brings.
• I was going to quit all my bad habits, but then I remembered the saying "Nobody likes a quitter."
• Sorry, I have to leave in 2024 – I have a future to ruin.
• My 2024 resolution is to stop hanging out with people who constantly ask about my New Year's resolutions.
• Here's to pretending that anything has changed.
• New Year's Eve is just another excuse to wear glitter and drink champagne.
• I'm just here to find my midnight kiss.
• I'll remember 2024 like it was yesterday.
• A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
• Let's raise a glass to all the broken resolutions of 2024.
• My New Year's resolution is 1080p.
• Are we supposed to get our act together in 2024 or just continue winging it?
• Dear 2024, if you could be less dramatic than 2024, that'd be great.
• New Year, same old mistakes.
• This year, I'm going to be a better version of my petty self.
• A petty queen never changes her spots.
• Confirmed: my liver survived 2024.
• 2024: the year of realizing things.
• I'm just here to see which couples will break up before midnight.
• May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
• Dear future, I'm ready for all the petty.
• New Year, same old shenanigans.
• 365 new days, 365 new chances to be petty.
• I came for the champagne and stayed for the drama.
• Out with the old, in with the same old problems.
• I survived 2024, and all I got was this lousy Instagram caption.
• 2024, you were a roller coaster, and I want off.
• My New Year's resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.
• New Year's Eve: the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being judged.
• 2024 went by faster than my willpower for my last resolution.
• The only thing getting "lit" tonight is my scented candles.
• This year, I resolve to be less petty. Just kidding, where's the fun in that?
• May your 2024 be as bright as the highlighter on my cheekbones.
• I'm still writing 2023 on all my checks.
• 2024, let's get this bread (and maybe some emotional stability too).
• "New year, new me" – everyone, every year.
• I have a feeling my "check liver" light may come on this New Year's Eve.
• New Year's Eve is basically "The Purge" for petty behavior.
• 2022 was a wild ride, but I'm ready for whatever 2024 throws at me (or so I tell myself).

Also Useful: Party Captions For Instagram (2024)

Petty Instagram Captions For Ex (2024)

It's time to show your ex that you've moved on and are living your best life without them. Here are petty Instagram captions for all those post-breakup selfies and moments when you just want to show them what they're missing.

• "New phone, who dis?"
• "I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman, I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together."
• "I'm not a snack, I'm the whole meal and you're on a diet."
• "Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great."
• "I've upgraded."
• "Ex who?"
• "Living my best life without you."
• "Throwing shade like it's sunny."
• "I'm a limited edition, and you missed your chance."
• "I'm not petty, I'm just giving you a taste of your own medicine."
• "You're the reason they made a BLOCK button."
• "Exes are like expired milk – you don't miss them when they're gone."
• "You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now."
• "I'm thriving, you're surviving."
• "I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you."
• "I've got 99 problems, but you ain't one."
• "Out with the old, in with the bold."
• "You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions."
• "I glow harder when I'm alone."
• "You lost a diamond while chasing glitter."
• "I don't miss you; I miss who I thought you were."
• "Single and ready to mingle."
• "Deleting you from my life like I delete a bad selfie."
• "Sometimes you have to burn a bridge to keep yourself from crossing it again."
• "I'm not a snack, I'm a whole buffet."
• "I've got a good heart, but this mouth…"
• "I'm not heartless; I've just learned how to use my heart less."
• "My ex called, I rejected the call."
• "You left me with memories, I left you with selfies."
• "You were a lesson, not a soulmate."
• "I'm the one who got away."
• "You didn't appreciate me, so I found someone who will."
• "You didn't break me; you made me stronger."
• "Your loss, babe."
• "Sorry, not sorry."
• "Out of sight, out of mind."
• "I'm not saying I hate you, but I'd unplug your life support to charge my phone."
• "My life got better when you left."
• "I'm my own WCW."
• "I'm a queen, and you're a jester."
• "It's not me, it's you."
• "You called me crazy, but you were the one who drove me there."
• "You should see the other guy."
• "My mascara is too expensive to cry over you."
• "You were never on my level."
• "I'm the one who broke the chains."
• "You're a downgrade."
• "I'm the main course, you're just an appetizer."
• "I'm not a backup plan, and definitely not a second choice."
• "My life is like a movie, and you didn't make the final cut."
• "You're the reason I have trust issues."
• "I put the 'elusive' in 'influencer.'"
• "Too glam to give a damn."
• "I'm not bitter, I'm better."
• "Exes and ohs."
• "You're not worth my time."
• "I'm the upgrade you'll never get."
• "I'm not your toy anymore."
• "You can't handle all this sass."
• "I'm the one that got away and never looked."

Also Related: Heartfelt Instagram Captions For Ex Girlfriend (2024)

Petty Instagram Captions For Bf (2024)

Are you looking to spice up your Instagram game with some petty captions for your boyfriend? Well, we've got you covered! Here are individual and fun captions to add that extra flair to your posts featuring your significant other.

• "You're my favorite headache, babe."
• "Our relationship is like a rollercoaster – full of ups and downs!"
• "Let's make some memories we'll both pretend to forget."
• "I love you, even when you steal my fries."
• "I promise to always be by your side, or on top, or underneath…"
• "Together, we create our own kind of chaos."
• "I like you because you join in on my weirdness."
• "I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman, but have you ever seen us in the same room?"
• "Thanks for putting up with my crazy, babe."
• "You're my partner in crime and my favorite alibi."
• "Together, we're the perfect blend of chaos and love."
• "I'll never finish falling in love with you."
• "You make me feel like a better person, or maybe just better at pretending."
• "We're the couple everyone loves to hate."
• "Our love story is my favorite chaotic mess."
• "I'll love you even when we're old and wrinkly (but also petty)."
• "You and I are like a small gang, ready to take on the world."
• "You're the one person I would share my snacks with."
• "Two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other."
• "Thanks for being the reason I laugh a little harder and smile a little brighter."
• "Our love is like a fine wine, just a little bit bitter and a whole lot intoxicating."
• "I tolerate you like I tolerate my morning alarm."
• "Side by side or miles apart, you're always close to my petty heart."
• "You're the avocado to my toast, even if you're a little extra sometimes."
• "I love you more than I love to argue with you."
• "One day, we'll look back on this and laugh. Or cry. Or both."
• "Our relationship is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and double the laughs."
• "You're the reason I check my phone every five minutes."
• "We go together like peanut butter and jealous."
• "Thanks for being the Chandler to my Monica."
• "You're the exclamation point at the end of my happiest sentence."
• "Our love story is anything but ordinary."
• "I like you more than I like to admit."
• "You make my heart smile, even when you're being petty."
• "We're the couple that makes other couples roll their eyes."
• "We're not perfect, but we're perfect for each other."
• "I love you more than pizza, and that's saying a lot."
• "We're like the Titanic – a beautiful disaster."
• "I can't promise to fix all your problems, but I'll annoy you through them all."
• "You're the reason I believe in love at first fight."
• "Together, we're an unstoppable force of petty."
• "You're my favorite person to annoy."
• "Our love is like a beautiful train wreck."
• "I love you more than I love to be right."
• "You're the one I want to annoy for the rest of my life."
• "We're like two peas in a petty pod."
• "You make me happy in a way no one else can (or wants to)."
• "Our love story is a beautiful mess."
• "I didn't choose the petty life, the petty life chose us."
• "We laugh, we fight, we make up – it's the circle of life (and love)."
• "You're my happily ever after, with a side of petty."

Also Check: Instagram Captions For Boyfriend (2024)

Petty Instagram Captions For Gf (2024)

Looking for some petty Instagram captions to tease your girlfriend? Check out this list of fun and playful captions that will surely make her laugh and keep your relationship interesting.

• "I'm not saying you're obsessed with me, but here's a pic of us for your daily fix ????????‍♀️"
• "I'd say you're the luckiest girl in the world, but that would be an understatement ????"
• "I know I'm your favorite notification, but don't forget to like this pic ????"
• "You may have stolen my heart, but I'm still taking my hoodie back ????????‍♂️"
• "I know you love me, but can you please stop screenshotting my snaps? ????"
• "Sorry for the late reply, I was busy being the reason you're always smiling ????"
• "I can't wait for the day when you stop asking me to take your pictures ????"
• "I know you screenshot my selfies, but you can just ask me for a framed one ????????‍♂️"
• "If I had a dollar for every time you made me roll my eyes, I could buy you that purse you want ????"
• "You're lucky I'm not the jealous type – oh wait, I am ????"
• "Just a pic of me and the girl who always steals my clothes ????"
• "You say I never post about you, so here's your moment of fame ????"
• "I'd let you win an argument, but I'm too busy being right ????"
• "You're more than just my girlfriend – you're also my personal photographer ????"
• "I'd say we're #couplegoals, but I think you already know that ????"
• "You may have my heart, but I still won't share my fries ????"
• "I'd say we're the perfect match, but that would be cheesy – and you know how I feel about cheese ????"
• "Just a pic of me and the girl who's always 'borrowing' my phone charger ????"
• "You may be my girlfriend, but you'll always be my best friend first ????"
• "I know you're used to me always being right, but I'll let you have this one ????"
• "You're supposed to be my biggest fan, but you still haven't liked this pic ????"
• "I love you more than I love talking about myself – and that's saying something ????"
• "You're so lucky to have a boyfriend who can make you laugh and take bomb selfies ????????"
• "I know you think I'm perfect, but let's focus on you for a second ????????"
• "I know I'm your favorite person, but try not to make it too obvious ????"
• "You're the best thing that ever happened to me – besides pizza ????"
• "I love you more than I love correcting your grammar ????"
• "Just a pic of me and the girl who's always asking for my Netflix password ????"
• "I know I'm the reason you wake up smiling, but try not to drool on your pillow ????"
• "You're my favorite person to annoy – and that's saying something ????‍♀️"
• "I'd say we're perfect for each other, but that would be too easy ????????‍♂️"
• "You're the only person I'd share my memes with – and that's love ????"
• "You've got a lot of nerve for someone who still uses my Netflix account ????"
• "I know you think I'm funny, but try not to laugh at all my jokes ????"
• "You're so lucky to have a boyfriend who's also a master chef – microwave meals count, right? ????️"
• "I know you're obsessed with me, but try to play it cool ????"
• "You're the only person I'd let steal my hoodies – but that doesn't mean you can keep them ????"
• "I know I'm your favorite person, but let's focus on you for a second ????????‍♀️"
• "You're so lucky to have a boyfriend who's also your personal IT guy ????"
• "I know I'm amazing, but try not to brag about me too much ????????‍♂️"
• "You may be my girlfriend, but you'll always be my best friend first ????"
• "You're the only person I'd let steal my clothes – but that doesn't mean you can keep them ????"
• "I know I'm the reason you're always smiling, but try not to make it too obvious ????"
• "I'd say we're perfect for each other, but that would be too easy ????????‍♀️"
• "You're the best thing that ever happened to me – besides sleep ????"
• "I know you think I'm funny, but try not to laugh at all my jokes ????"
• "You're so lucky to have a boyfriend who's also a master chef – even if it's just instant ramen ????"
• "You may have my heart, but I still won't share my dessert ????"
• "I know you're obsessed with me, but try to play it cool ????"
• "You're the only person I'd let steal my snacks – but that doesn't mean you can keep them ????"
• "You've got a lot of nerve for someone who still uses my Spotify account ????"
• "I know I'm amazing, but try not to brag about me too much ????????‍♂️"

Check More: Cute Captions For Instagram (2024)

Good Petty Captions For Instagram (2024)

Looking for some sassy and petty captions to spice up your Instagram game? Look no further! Here's a list of outstanding and cheeky captions that will make your posts stand out.

• "I'm not petty, I'm just always right."
• "Sweet as sugar, petty as they come."
• "My middle name should be Petty."
• "You're the reason I'm petty."
• "Petty queen on duty."
• "I'm not always petty – oh wait, yes I am."
• "A little petty never hurt nobody."
• "I'm not great at apologies, but I'm excellent at being petty."
• "My pettiness level is off the charts."
• "Petty? Me? Never."
• "I put the 'petty' in pretty."
• "Petty and proud of it."
• "Petty is my favorite color."
• "I'm not always petty, but when I am, it's epic."
• "Petty vibes only."
• "Petty but still pretty."
• "My favorite sport is being petty."
• "I don't start drama, but I sure can finish it."
• "Too petty for my own good."
• "It's not my fault you can't handle my pettiness."
• "Petty: a lifestyle choice."
• "I'm not responsible for what my petty side does."
• "The pettier, the better."
• "Petty is as petty does."
• "The power of pettiness compels me."
• "One day I'll grow up, but today is not that day."
• "Petty party of one."
• "I'm not petty, just passionate."
• "I'm the pettiest person you'll ever meet."
• "I've got 99 problems, and being petty is all of them."
• "Petty looks good on me."
• "Sorry, I can't hear you over my pettiness."
• "If being petty is wrong, I don't want to be right."
• "I'm petty, what's your superpower?"
• "Petty is the new black."
• "I'm a petty princess in a world of peasants."
• "Making pettiness an art form."
• "Too blessed to be stressed, too petty to be pressed."
• "Petty AF and I'm not sorry about it."
• "Just a girl living her pettiest life."
• "My petty side is my best side."
• "If you can't handle me at my pettiest, you don't deserve me at my best."
• "Petty with a purpose."
• "It's not always easy being this petty, but it's worth it."
• "I didn't choose the petty life, the petty life chose me."

Also Useful: Couple Captions For Instagram (2024)

Petty Breakup Captions For Instagram (2024)

Breaking up is never easy, but sometimes you just need to let go and move on. If you're looking for some petty breakup captions for your Instagram posts, we've got you covered. Check out these witty and sassy captions that are perfect for showing off your newly single status.

• "New phone, who dis?" ????
• "I'm a limited edition, you were just a trial version."
• "Thank u, next." - Ariana Grande
• "My ex had one very annoying habit – breathing."
• "I lost nothing, you lost me."
• "I thought I was your upgrade, turns out I was your downgrade."
• "I'm not saying I hate you, but I'd unplug your life support to charge my phone."
• "You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now."
• "I've found a new hobby – not thinking about you."
• "You didn't just break my heart, you broke the record for the fastest unfollow."
• "Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my freedom."
• "I'm not saying I miss you, I'm just saying I've upgraded to a better version."
• "I'd wish you the best, but you already had it."
• "I'm not a stop along the way, I'm a destination."
• "You'll search for me in everyone you meet, but I won't be found."
• "I'm sorry, the old me can't come to the phone right now."
• "Our breakup was like a broken mirror – better to leave it broken than hurt myself trying to fix it."
• "I didn't lose a boyfriend, I gained a best friend – myself."
• "I'm not heartless, I've just learned to use my heart less."
• "Breakups are like a broken plate – you can put it back together, but the cracks will always show."
• "I've seen more commitment in a game of Monopoly."
• "My ex is living proof that you can't make someone love you if they don't."
• "I didn't lose you, I found myself."
• "You'll always be my favorite mistake."
• "You were great, but I'm amazing."
• "I can't believe I almost settled for you."
• "You didn't break me, you made me stronger."
• "I'm not bitter, I'm just better off without you."
• "Now I know why they call it a breakup – because it's a wake-up."
• "You taught me that love doesn't have to last forever."
• "I used to miss you, but I realized I missed the memories, not you."
• "Breaking up with you was like deleting a bad app – I got my phone back."
• "I thought you were my forever, but you were just a detour."
• "I'm not a backup plan, and definitely not a second choice."
• "You didn't break my heart, you broke your chance to be in my life."
• "I'm so glad I broke up with you – now I can date myself."
• "I used to think you were irreplaceable, but now I see you're just like everyone else."
• "Breaking up with you was like taking off a Band-Aid – it hurt, but I'm better for it."
• "I thought you were my happy ending, but turns out you were just a chapter."
• "Here's to the memories I'll never forget and the love I'll never regret."
• "You were my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye."
• "My ex is like a bad habit – hard to break, but I'm better off without it."
• "You were a lesson, not a soulmate."
• "I'm not a toy, you can't just drop me when you get bored."
• "You were my hardest lesson, but my favorite story to tell."
• "I may have loved you once, but now I'm just rolling my eyes."
• "You taught me the difference between love and being in love."
• "I thought you were my everything, turns out you were just a phase."
• "I'm not crying over you, I'm laughing at my past self for thinking you were worth it."
• "You didn't break me, you just showed me what I'm made of."
• "I'm not saying you're a bad person, I'm just saying you're bad for me."
• "You used to be my favorite daydream, now you're just a bad memory."
• "I thought you were my forever person, but you were just a temporary feeling."
• "I used to think you were irreplaceable, but now I see that I'm the one who's one-of-a-kind."
• "I'm not saying I'm glad we broke up, but I'm definitely not sad about it either."

Also Related: Sad Captions For Instagram (2024)

Petty Finsta Captions (2024)

Petty Finsta captions are perfect for those moments when you want to throw a little shade or just be funny and sarcastic. Here's a list of notable and witty captions to spice up your Finsta game.

• "Can't take your opinion seriously; I've seen your eyebrows."
• "I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."
• "I'm sorry, my petty side just took over for a sec."
• "You must be the reason for global warming because you're really heating up my mood."
• "I've got 99 problems, but you won't be one."
• "If I had a dollar for every time I cared about your opinion, I'd be broke."
• "I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do."
• "I'm not actually funny; I'm just mean, and people think I'm joking."
• "I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?"
• "I could agree with you, but then we'd both be stupid."
• "I'm not rude, just brutally honest."
• "I don't hate you, but if you were on fire, and I had water, I'd drink it."
• "I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."
• "You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo."
• "The trash gets picked up tomorrow; be ready."
• "I'm sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the way you treat everyone all the time."
• "You're about as useful as a chocolate teapot."
• "I'm sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said."
• "I love sarcasm; it's like punching people in the face but with words."
• "You're the human embodiment of a migraine."
• "You're the reason God created the middle finger."
• "If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty."
• "My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships."
• "I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there, and I don't want to see you every day."
• "I'm not heartless; I just learned how to use my heart less."
• "You're like a penny: two-faced and not worth much."
• "I'm not insulting you; I'm describing you."
• "You're the reason I prefer animals to people."
• "Please cancel my subscription to your issues."
• "I love rumors. I always find out amazing things about myself that I never knew."
• "I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today."
• "I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll make an exception."
• "I'm not arguing; I'm just explaining why I'm right."
• "You're so fake, Barbie is jealous."
• "I'm not a proctologist, but I know an a**hole when I see one."
• "My alone time is for your safety."
• "I'd slap you, but I don't want to make your face look any better."
• "You're the reason I roll my eyes so much."
• "I don't sugarcoat things; I'm not Willy Wonka."
• "I'm not a second option; you either choose me or lose me."
• "My middle finger salutes you."
• "I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing."
• "I'm not sarcastic; I'm just intelligent beyond your understanding."
• "You're like a cloud; when you disappear, it's a beautiful day."
• "You're the reason I have trust issues."
• "I've got heels higher than your standards."
• "I'm not saying you're stupid, but you have bad luck when it comes to thinking."
• "I'm allergic to stupidity,so I break out in sarcasm."
• "You're like expired food: nobody wants you."
• "You're a perfect example of why I'm pro-choice."
• "I'm at the age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, and my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet."
• "You're the human version of a migraine."
• "I'm not great at advice, but I'm excellent at sarcasm."
• "You're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you."
• "It's okay if you don't like me; not everyone has good taste."
• "My patience has a limit, and you reached it."
• "The only thing I'm committed to right now is bettering myself."
• "You're like a broken pencil: pointless."
• "I'm sorry for the nasty things I said; I thought you knew they were true."
• "I'm not ignoring you; I'm just waiting for you to realize you're wrong."
• "Your opinion matters... just not to me."
• "You're a great example of why people should have to pass a test to procreate."

Also Check: Attitude Captions For Instagram (2024)

Cute Petty Captions For Instagram (2024)

Looking to add a touch of humor and cuteness to your Instagram posts? Check out these adorable and witty petty captions that are sure to make your followers smile.

• Just a little bit of cuteness overload happening here ????
• I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode ????
• Cuteness level: expert ????
• Just a small-town girl with big-time dreams ????
• When in doubt, just add some glitter ✨
• Feeling pawsitively adorable ????
• Too cute to handle, too petty to care ????‍♀️
• I don't do mornings... unless there's coffee ☕
• I was born to stand out, not fit in ????
• Cuteness is my superpower, what's yours? ????
• Living my best (cute and petty) life ????
• Always take the scenic route ????
• Find me where the wild things are ????
• Make every day a cute and petty adventure ????
• My life is basically a series of awkward moments ????
• There's no such thing as too many cuddles ????
• Just a girl who loves her dog/cat more than life itself ????
• I may be petite, but my attitude is anything but ????️
• I'm not small, I'm fun-sized! ????
• Part-time cute, full-time petty ????
• Just a girl with a whole lot of sass and a little bit of ass ????
• I can't adult today, please don't make me ????
• I don't believe in growing up, it's overrated ????
• I'm not short, I'm just more down to earth than most people ????
• My two moods: cute and petty ????????
• I may be cute, but don't underestimate my level of petty ????
• Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn ????
• Just a girl who's too cute for her own good ????
• I'm not bossy, I just know what I want ????
• You're never fully dressed without a smile ????
• I'm a dreamer, a doer, and a total cutie pie ????
• I'm a cute mess, but it's a beautiful disaster ????
• I may be small, but my dreams are larger than life ????
• Cute but psycho, but cute ????
• I'm not clumsy, I'm just accident-prone ????
• I don't have an attitude problem, you just can't handle my personality ????‍♀️
• I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome ????
• I'm a little bit of chaos and a whole lot of cute ????
• Living for the moments I can't put into words ????
• I came, I saw, I made it awkward ????
• Life is too short to be anything but cute and petty ????
• I'm like a butterfly, pretty to see but hard to catch ????
• I'm not weird, I'm limited edition ????
• I'm a tornado with pretty eyes and a heartbeat ????
• I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right ????
• Just a girl trying to make her dog/cat proud ????????
• I'm not a snack, I'm the whole damn meal ????️
• I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination ????
• I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way ????
• I'm a little bit sassy and a whole lot of cute ????
• I'm not shy, I'm just holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you ????
• I may be cute, but I have the mouth of a sailor ⚓
• I'm not a princess, I'm a queen who doesn't need a king ????
• I'm not perfect, but I'm definitely one of a kind ????
• I may be cute, but I'm also a force to be reckoned with ????

Check More: Hood Captions For Instagram (2024)

Clever Petty Captions For Instagram (2024)

Are you tired of the same old Instagram captions? We've got you covered with these clever and petty captions to make your feed stand out. Get ready to up your Insta game!

• "I don't hold grudges, I remember facts."
• "I'm not sarcastic, I'm just intelligent beyond your understanding."
• "My life feels like a test I didn't study for."
• "Breaking news: I don't care."
• "Cancel my subscription, I'm done with your issues."
• "I'd tell you to take a hike, but I don't want to be responsible for your lost-in-the-woods selfie."
• "I'm not bossy, I'm the boss."
• "I'm not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire, I'd roast marshmallows."
• "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
• "Sarcasm: because beating people up is illegal."
• "If I was a bird, I know who I'd poop on."
• "I'm not great at advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
• "I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?"
• "Your opinion is not part of my recipe."
• "I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm someone's double vodka."
• "I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure."
• "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness."
• "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
• "I'm allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm."
• "You can't make everyone happy, you're not an avocado."
• "My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships."
• "If you can't be kind, be quiet."
• "I hope your day is as nice as your eyebrows."
• "I love the sound you make when you shut up."
• "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
• "I'm at the age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, and my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet."
• "I don't sugarcoat things, I'm not Willy Wonka."
• "I'm not responsible for you not understanding my sarcasm."
• "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
• "If you can't say something nice, say it sarcastically."
• "I'm not sarcastic, I'm just brutally honest."
• "I'm not arguing, I'm simply explaining why I'm right."
• "Thanks for pretending not to see me when I was pretending not to see you."
• "If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ."
• "I thought I was having a bad day until I saw your face."
• "I'm not short, I'm just more down to earth than other people."
• "I'm not rude, I'm just honest."
• "I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem."
• "I'm not ignoring you, I'm just waiting for you to realize your mistake."
• "I don't do subtlety, I do sarcasm."
• "I'm not a hot mess, I'm a spicy disaster."
• "If you're cooler than me, does that make me hotter than you?"
• "I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."
• "If you have a problem with me, write it on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your…."
• "I'm not a control freak, but you're doing it wrong."
• "I'm not mean, I'm just brutally honest. It's not my fault truth hurts."
• "Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said."
• "I'm not a procrastinator, I'm a time optimist."
• "I'm not weird, I'm limited edition."
• "I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas."
• "I'm not a snack, I'm a whole buffet."
• "I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me."
• "I'm not stubborn, my way is just better."
• "I'm not negative, I'm just realistic."
• "I'm not an early bird or a night owl, I'm some form of permanently exhausted pigeon."
• "I'm not dramatic, I'm just extra."
• "I'm not arguing, I'm simply telling you why you're wrong."
• "I'm not a princess, I don't need saving. I'm a queen, I got this handled."

Also Useful: Lit Captions For Instagram (2024)

Short Petty Captions For Instagram (2024)

Here are short and petty captions for your Instagram posts. These captions are perfect for those moments when you want to throw a little shade, show off your sass, or simply make a statement.

• A little sass never hurt anyone.
• Petty? Maybe. Fabulous? Always.
• I'll stop being petty when it stops being entertaining.
• I am the queen of petty.
• Too blessed to be stressed, too petty to be impressed.
• Petty level: expert.
• You can't spell petty without "pretty".
• My petty game is strong.
• I'm not always petty, but when I am, it's worth it.
• Living my best life, one petty moment at a time.
• Not today, Satan – I'm busy being petty.
• Watch out, world – petty mode activated.
• You can't handle my level of petty.
• My middle name should be petty.
• Born petty, raised petty, stay petty.
• Unapologetically petty.
• Petty, party of one.
• Petty and proud of it.
• Petty is as petty does.
• I didn't choose the petty life, the petty life chose me.
• Petty with a side of fabulous.
• Petty, but make it fashion.
• My petty has no limits.
• You know what they say about karma – she's petty.
• Petty never looked so good.
• Petty: it's not just an attitude, it's a lifestyle.
• Petty in the front, party in the back.
• Petty: 100% pure, no additives.
• I'm not petty, I'm just honest.
• If you can't handle my petty, you don't deserve my pretty.
• Petty, but still pretty.
• Petty, but in a good way.
• Petty is the new black.
• Petty and loving it.
• I put the "petty" in pretty.
• If petty was a sport, I'd be a gold medalist.
• I'm not saying I'm petty, but... okay, yes, I'm petty.
• Petty? I prefer the term "selectively savage".
• I'm not responsible for my petty, my face is.
• If being petty is wrong, I don't want to be right.
• It's not about being petty, it's about making a point.
• I'm petty and I know it.
• Petty is just a state of mind.
• If you can't beat 'em, be petty.
• Petty with a purpose.
• Keep calm and be petty.
• Being petty is my cardio.
• I'm a petty girl in a petty world.
• My petty is next level.
• I'm petty, but I'm also pretty – so it's fine.
• Petty is my middle name.
• Petty and thriving.
• Petty vibes only.
• Petty, but I have a heart of gold.
• Petty, but still fabulous.
• I'm petty, but I'm worth it.
• Petty is just my way of life.
• Petty, but make it classy.
• I'm petty, but I'm also kind – so, balance.
• Petty with a capital P.
• I'm petty, but I still have a good heart.
• Petty, but still a good person.
• Life is short, be petty.
• I'm petty, but I have a great personality.
• Petty or not, I'm still winning.

Also Related: Witty Captions For Instagram (2024)

Baddie Petty Captions For Instagram (2024)

Unleash your inner baddie with these sassy and petty captions for Instagram. Show off your confidence and attitude with these bold and unapologetic statements that'll make everyone stop and take notice.

• "I'm not bossy, I'm the boss."
• "I'm not mean, you're just too sensitive."
• "My attitude is kinda savage, but my heart is pure gold."
• "Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my awesomeness."
• "I'm not rude, I just have the guts to say what everyone else is thinking."
• "I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem."
• "You can't handle me even if I came with instructions."
• "Just a baddie with a good heart and a smart mouth."
• "You can't break a girl who's already broken."
• "I don't need your approval, darling, I have my own."
• "A lion doesn't concern itself with the opinion of sheep."
• "Be careful who you push away, some of us don't come back."
• "I'm not a bad girl, just a good girl with bad habits."
• "You're the reason I have trust issues."
• "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
• "I'm not heartless, I've just learned how to use my heart less."
• "If I were you, I would adore me too."
• "Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there."
• "Too glam to give a damn."
• "My circle is small because I'm into quality, not quantity."
• "Queens don't compete with hoes."
• "I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream."
• "You can't sit with us."
• "I don't do drama, I do business."
• "I don't sweat, I sparkle."
• "I hope karma slaps you before I do."
• "You couldn't handle me even if I came with a manual."
• "You hate me? Well, I don't care."
• "You're just another brick in my wall of haters."
• "Throw me to the wolves, and I'll return leading the pack."
• "I'm the girl your mom warned you about."
• "My life, my rules."
• "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness."
• "I may be a bad influence, but at least I'm fun."
• "Proceed with caution, I bite."
• "You couldn't touch me, even if you tried."
• "Confidence level: selfie with no filter."
• "I'm a limited edition, there's only one me."
• "I'm not a princess, I don't need saving. I'm a queen, I got this handled."
• "I don't need a king to be a queen."
• "Karma is my best friend, watch out."
• "I'm not a snack, I'm the whole damn meal."
• "My life is a movie, and you're just an extra."
• "I don't play games, I win them."
• "Don't check for me unless you have a check for me."
• "You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now."
• "I got 99 problems, but you won't be one."
• "I'm not a second option, you either choose me or lose me."
• "Your opinion of me doesn't define who I am."
• "Let your success be your noise."
• "I'm not bossy, I just know what I want."
• "My vibe attracts my tribe."
• "The only thing I chase is my dreams."
• "I don't need anybody who doesn't need me."
• "Either you're with me, or you're not. There's no in-between."

Also Check: Savage Captions For Instagram (2024)

Petty Instagram Captions For Selfies (2024)

Can't get enough of posting selfies on Instagram? Here's a list of petty Instagram captions that will perfectly complement your photos and keep your followers entertained. Level up your selfie game with these fun and sassy captions that are sure to make a statement.

• "I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing."
• "I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
• "My mascara is too expensive to cry over stupid boys."
• "I never dreamed about success. I worked for it."
• "Confidence level: selfie with no filter."
• "Did you say exercise? I thought you said extra fries."
• "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
• "I swear I have a heart, but it's just surrounded by sass."
• "I don't need a reason to be petty. I just am."
• "I'm not high maintenance, you're just low effort."
• "I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?"
• "My attitude is kinda savage, but my heart is gold."
• "Throwing shade like it's sunny."
• "I'm not short, I'm just more down to earth than other people."
• "Sorry, my bad side doesn't come with a mute button."
• "My attitude is based on how you treat me."
• "I'm not a snack, I'm the whole damn meal."
• "My life feels like a test I didn't study for."
• "I'm allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm."
• "I'm the queen of unfinished projects."
• "I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you."
• "If I was a bird, I know who I'd poop on."
• "I'm not always sarcastic, sometimes I'm sleeping."
• "I'm not mean, I'm brutally honest."
• "I'm not bossy, I just have leadership skills."
• "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
• "I'm not responsible for what my face does when you talk."
• "I don't do drama, I just watch it happen."
• "I'm not stubborn, my way is just better."
• "I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem."
• "I'm sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said."
• "My hair is the only thing I can control in my life."
• "I'm not sarcastic, I'm just intelligent beyond your understanding."
• "I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman, I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together."
• "I'm not shy, I'm just holding back my awesomeness."
• "I don't trip, I do random gravity checks."
• "I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination."
• "I'm not a hot mess, I'm a spicy disaster."
• "Sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come."
• "I'm not a control freak, I'm a control enthusiast."
• "I'm not rude, I'm just honest with no filter."
• "I'm not a morning person or a night person, I'm a whenever-my-nap-is-over person."
• "I'm not a shopaholic, I'm helping the economy."
• "I'm not always late, sometimes I just don't show up."
• "I'm not a procrastinator, I'm just extremely productive at unimportant things."
• "I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me."
• "I'm not a perfectionist, I just like things done right."
• "I'm not a gossiper, I'm just a great storyteller."
• "I'm not picky, I just know what I don't like."
• "I'm not crazy, I'm just creatively insane."

Check More: Dope Captions For Instagram (2024)

More Petty Caption Ideas For Instagram (2024)

Add some sass and attitude to your Instagram game with these petty captions. Show off your cheeky side and let your personality shine through with these fun and unique phrases. Keep scrolling for an epic list of petty captions that are sure to make your followers laugh and double-tap.

• "You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now."
• "I'm not petty, I'm just highly selective."
• "Savage, but always classy."
• "Petty in pink."
• "My middle finger salutes you."
• "Being petty isn't a hobby; it's a lifestyle."
• "I don't hold grudges; I remember facts."
• "Petty level: Expert."
• "Throwing shade like it's sunny."
• "My pettiness has its own zip code."
• "I don't get jealous; I get petty."
• "Can't see the haters through my petty-colored glasses."
• "I like my coffee how I like my personality: strong and petty."
• "I'm not always petty, but when I am, it's epic."
• "Welcome to the Petty Olympics."
• "50 shades of petty."
• "Living for the applause and the drama."
• "My petty senses are tingling."
• "I was born to flex my petty muscles."
• "I put the 'elusive' in 'influencer.'"
• "Petty with a purpose."
• "You can't spell 'petty' without 'pretty.'"
• "I'm not arguing; I'm just explaining why I'm right."
• "Petty, party of one."
• "Petty vibes only."
• "The petty force is strong with this one."
• "I've got 99 problems, and pettiness is one."
• "My pettiness brings all the boys to the yard."
• "Petty is my middle name."
• "You can't sit with us, but you can watch from afar."
• "I don't start drama; I finish it."
• "Petty in the front, party in the back."
• "I'm not a regular mom; I'm a petty mom."
• "I'm living for the drama and the likes."
• "Don't hate me because I'm petty."
• "I'm the queen of petty, and this is my kingdom."
• "Petty and proud of it."
• "You can't handle my level of pettiness."
• "I came, I saw, I threw shade."
• "My pettiness is like a fine wine – it only gets better with age."
• "I'm not petty, I'm just misunderstood."
• "Petty is as petty does."
• "Petty is the new black."
• "I'm not bossy; I'm the boss of petty."
• "Petty is the spice of life."
• "I'm not bad; I'm just drawn that way."
• "A spoonful of petty helps the drama go down."
• "Petty, but make it fashion."
• "I put the 'petty' in 'pretty little liars.'"
• "I'm not mean; I'm just brutally honest."
• "I'm the CEO of petty."
• "If pettiness was an art, I'd be Picasso."
• "I don't play games; I win them."
• "You say 'petty' like it's a bad thing."
• "I'm not great at advice, but I'm excellent at petty comments."
• "I'm petty and I know it."
• "Petty is my love language."
• "I'm not the hero Instagram deserves, but the petty one it needs."
• "Petty is just another word for fabulous."
• "I'm not here to make friends; I'm here to be petty."

Also Useful: Deep Captions For Instagram (2024)

What Does Petty Mean?

Petty refers to something of little importance or trivial in nature. It often describes insignificant matters that are not worth giving much attention or time to. When a person is called petty, it generally means they are overly concerned with minor issues or are making a big deal out of something that is not really significant. This term is commonly used to describe small-minded behaviors, such as holding grudges over trivial matters or being overly critical of others' minor flaws.

In some contexts, petty can also refer to a lesser or secondary importance, rank, or scale. For example, a petty officer in the military is a non-commissioned officer who ranks below a commissioned officer. Similarly, a petty crime is a minor offense, such as shoplifting or vandalism, that carries less severe legal penalties compared to more serious crimes. In this sense, petty is used to indicate a lower level of importance or severity in comparison to other elements within the same system or structure.

Frequently Asked Questions

Conclusion

Petty captions for Instagram have become a trend that has taken over the platform. These captions are not only entertaining but also relatable to many users who want to express their petty and sassy side. With the rise of social media, it's no surprise that users have found new and creative ways to express themselves, and Petty captions for Instagram have become a favorite tool for many.

Whether you are feeling angry, upset, or simply want to show off your confidence, these captions are perfect for adding a touch of humor and personality to your posts. In a world where social media has become a part of our daily lives, petty captions for Instagram provide an opportunity to let your guard down and be yourself.

They allow you to share your feelings, thoughts, and opinions with your followers while making them laugh along the way. So, the next time you are scrolling through Instagram and searching for the perfect caption, consider using one of these petty captions for Instagram and join the millions of users who have embraced this trend.